The darkness of Ginny's life, hidden inside
by HimeOumu
Summary: love. Hate. Death. SUICIDE. See what happens when these things cross Ginny's mind, and a girl who experiences these often enters Ginny's life.
1. my blood runs through these walls

**( I thought the only way I could get my poems up on a website, and to have a way to let out my anger, and other feelings was by starting another fanfiction. I know it will be about a month before I can post it as I have had my internet currently cut off, but that means I have more time to work on these poem things, and more time to think of a story line. **

**This won't be like other stories i have wrote, these will be more dark then others. My previous ones have shown the hyper side of me, this one shall show the more darkness, the darkness, that at times, takes over me. I don't know, but maybe someone will like this story, my friend has read one of these poems and told me that I should make it a song, the one called goodbye.**

**I am not sure what the story line is going to be right now, so i will just type my thoughts, get one single idea and turn it in to more. If you review thank-you, but if not i couldn't really care, this is more for me, and those who will read it. 3**

**The story takes place in Harry's 6th year, so Ginny's 5th. There will be many small authors note in this story, as i do not know if i will be turning this into chapters, depends how long it takes to get our internet back.)  
**

Ginny sat at her desk, a few peices of scrunched up parechment beside her, a fresh peice infront of her, and a quil in hand. She stare out the window, wondering what to write next. For her muggles study class, she had to write a poem that showed a side of her few knew. Ginny had started with many attempts, a poem about her life with her older brothers. She had very little susess, all of her starts ending up in the fire beside her. A poem that shows a side of her that few knew, or that no-one did. Her eyes swept the common room, stopping at her friends, at Harry Ron and Hermione, at crookshanks. Nothing she saw seemed to spark an idea, untill she looked at a quiet girl that seemed to threatened those in her year. Giving up her poem as a bad job, she walked over.

'Kijo...' Ginny sat down beside a girl with dark, waiste lenght hair, eyes that seemed to scream evil, and who was wearing a short black skirt, red shirt, with net covering her chest and arms. She looked quite evil, yet to Ginny, she seemed to say something, as though begging her to come over.

'Ginny.' She said in a cold voice.

'What's on your mind right now?'

Kijo looked up. 'Blood. It run's through these walls unseen...'

This seemed to spark something in Ginny's mind. Most people would have walked away at that, but Ginny earned to no more. 'It cannot be unseen by all, if you know it is there?'

'It remains unseen, but not unheard. It flow's through our veins, and we don't always see it. The air, I can smell blood in it. Death..' A small smirk apeared on her face.

'The air is unseen, yet it is still there, just like blood. But, whose blood is it that flows through these walls?'

'Mine drips down, not mixing with the others, everyone elses flows like normal.'

'Blood drips down? As in you cut yourself?'

'What you see and hear are dark lies...' Kijo looked towards the paper that Ginny had been using.

'Homework, muggle studies, and i have to get back to it if I wan't it done...' Ginny said, as she walked away with a fresh idea in her head. No-one had ever seen the hurt Ginny, the dark side of her. With one last glance towards Kijo, Ginny picked up her quil, and started to write down her thoughts.

**(Kijo Oumu is a character I made up. I tend to roleplay, both Harry Potter and an anime show called Naruto. Kijo is a dark character made up for Naruto roleplay. KJ, the character in my other story is my Harry Potter roleplay character, and that would describe the hyperness that Kijo's sister, Hime, has, although Hime is more friendly, and more sensible, mature. KJ is carefree, doing whatever she pleases, Hime follows rules.)**


	2. Goodbye

'...as I look around I see my friends, and i know there here to the end. They are with me morning and night, through the dark and the light...'

Ginny lifted her head of the desk, and looked up. Everyone else in the class had read out the poems, most being about friendship, the happiness and power of love, and others did poems all about them, -cough- lovers.

'Ginny?' The muggle studies, Miss Burbage, spoke in a calm, friendly voice.

Ginny didn't get up immediatly .'Do i ... have to read it infront of everyone.'

'Now now, everyone else did you will be fine.'

'It's personal...' Ginny clutched the sheets of paper tight to her chest. Proffesor Burbage didn't mention that they would be reading the poems out to the class.'

'Ginny winny to scared of everyone...' One girl smirked.

Ginny got up, and found where she was going to read to. 'I'm NOT reading it all, to long.'

Professor Burbage nodded, and sat back to watch Ginny's poem.

"_Fairwell, Fairwell to those who care._

_Now its my turn to make things fair._

_Now my story nears its end, as i hold this knife._

_And before you know it, its the end of my life._

_My soul will linger, haunting you_

_Payback for all the things you use to do._

_This is my way of saying goodbye._

_Saying i will always be here, though i may die._

_I leave my memory behind_

_And that is what will keep me alive._

_Now one last time you will ever hear._

_Goodbye to you my dear."_

Ginny finished just as the bell rung, and before anyone can say anything she had walked out of the classroom, ahead of everyone else.

'Did you hear her? I bet she cuts herself, just like that Kijo girl..'

Ginny turned around to see Kijo glance over to her. She smiled slightly, and continued to walk. Ginny took one step and stumbled into someone.

'Watch where your going!.' Everyone laugh as Ginny got to her feet.

'You...' Ginny walked over to Harry, taking a few deap breaths, clearing her mind.

**(The Poem above is the ending to the poem Goodbye, a poem about a girl who has had enough of her life, and kills herself leaving no-one that cares, and the distant sounds of sirens are the only sign that she was even once alive.)**


	3. A girl with no name

'Oi, ginz, whats up with this?' One of Ginny's friends walk over to her, with a few peices of paper in her hand. 'Goodbye?'

'Oh... muggle studies..'

'Oh so this is what you spent all that time working on, it's really good, very dark. So not you though, youknow?.' She walked away leaving Ginny stand there with the paper in hand.

'Better be carefull, paper cuts!'

'Oh pleaseee, she would prefer to use a knife...'

Ginny threw the paper towards the fire, and stormed out of the room. She walked to her bed, and lay down thinking. Without really thinking about poems, an idea for one seemed to pop into her mind. She grabbed a quil, and a peice of parchment, and wrote down her ideas. Before she realised it, it was three peices of parchment long, and it was getting very late. She put her things down beside her bed, rest her head on her pillow, and fell into a deap, dark sleep.

xxx

Ginny walked down to breakfast just in time for the post. An owl soared over to her, dropping a note in her hand. She walked over to the others, and opened the note.

_Short story and poetry competition. This is a way for people to let out there feelings, or show their creativity. This years theme is of the dark and dangerous. Write anything about any sort of haunting. Dark poems, and scary stories. Witches and Wizards, skeletons and ghost. Whatever haunting comes to mind we would love to read!_

Ginny continued to read, not much of an interest, but yet it was like she couldn't put the paper down. She would now be able to show her darker side without being called an 'emo', without people saying that she hurts herself, without people putting labels on her. A muggle competition, with people she would never see again. She thought about it, and couldn't find no reason not to. She searched through her bag for thing she had wrote for muggle studies. She wrote her name onto the paper, along with other details asked for, and sent the owl off. She had no smile on her face, and she though that it would be hard to put one there.

xxx

A few days after she had sent the owl, she receive a reply. Ginny thought it was quite strange that these people knew where to get hold of her in the first place, let alone be replying by owl. She pushed that thought iut of her mind and opened the letter.

_Ginny, we are glad to say that you are one of our finalists. We wish for you to come to a presentation to read out your poem for many to hear. If it is chosen it will be published, and world wide, people will be reading your story. We do hope to see you on the date of the reading. Information has been inclosed. Thank-you. C.B_

Ginny got up and walked to her muggle studies class.

As she wait with the others for Proffessor Burbage to show up, Ginny though about whether she should go or not. 'Professor Burbage will not be attending further classes untill further noticed.'

'Hey Ginny, see the notice board? There is a trip to this muggle story thingy after Christmas!.'

Ginny walked over and read the noticed. Strange, that was the contest that she had joinned. She checked the date and her eyes widened. All students in her class will be seeing her read her whole poem. Ginny went to the great hall, almost running into Professor McGonnagal.

xxx

Ginny sat next to Harry, her quil in one hand. While the others struggled with their homework, Ginny struggle to find the words to write next. She knew the poem needed to be dark if she were to have a chance, but nothing so much so came to mind. Witches and Wizards. Skeletons And Ghosts. The haunting of a ghost would surely be the best thing to write about, but also it would be the most comment thing, would it not. Even of she had desided what she _might _write about she still had trouble finding words, and matching them to her fealings. She could here those in her year talking, she overheard the words said, and this was a little help. A single sentence popped into her mind, yet she still had a bit of trouble working that sentence into more.

_All the words i can hear_

_Are just apart of my fear_

Ginny sat and think. The girls she overheard were talking about another girl in their year, and the girl was close by, hearing the words said about her. She looked depressed, as though she wanted to cry, but she knew if a single tear fell down her face she would regret it. No-one would let her forget quickly, and this will cause more pain for her. There was little chance, if not none, where she could drain her tears.

_All of this stupid pain._

_And no chance for tears to drain._

The poor girl. The innocent face she had, yet so obviously stained with the tears of her life. Every bit of pain was etched onto her face, and though she smiled it was easy to tell that she was pained inside. The girl was caused daily pain, overhearing people talk, and thinking about what they have said and done. There is no break from the life that she has, she lives a hard one, but she smiles, and continues life with her very few true friends.

_All this filling up inside me._

_If you look, its easy to see._

She cries. It is obvious. One look in her eyes, and you can tell. Yet she cries in secret, when she has a chance. There is little chance, with so many people around, and so little people she can cry near. Those who wont make fun of her, but will be there to comfort her when needed. Only then, will she cry.

_Tears are spilt when no-ones around._

_Dripping down my face to the ground._

There is few people in this world that can get rid of her pain. Onlt those that she loves, and yet at time they can be the cause of this pain, yet the pain felt is different. She hurts everytime her friends do, and yet she hurts inside just so she wont hurt a friend. She would hide half of her life, just to be sure a friend is safe. If they got into a fight, they easily forgave eachother. If one she loves got into a fight she would jump in taking the hit, just so her friend wouldn't hurt, even if it was a boy they were in a fight with. It's all the power of love.

_Yes this hurts, causing tears._

_But love gets rid of my fears_.

Ginny glanced over to Harry, who watched her writing. Though he did not see what she wrote, he smiled. Ginny smiled, and felt all of her own fears melt away. It is true, when you sit with the one you love, as a friend, or as more, you seem to loose all worries you have. This girl, when she sits with the boy she loves, she smiles. When she is with her friends, she laughs, and when she is scared, she knows in her head that she can hug her friends, or even hide behind them, when the frightening comes to much to handle. When she sits beside her bestfriend, she feels precious, and she knows that someone cares.

_I sit beside the one I love._

_And feel as precious as a snow white dove._

_I speak to people who care._

_And i no longer feel scared._

This girl, her fears just disapeared then. The boy she loves just sat down beside her. He put her arm around her, and she smiled, even though she wanted to cry. She no longer felt scared, angry, or upset with anyone who sit, talking about her. Her worries seemed to melt away into the night. With his arm around her, she no longer wanted out of this world.

_My fears disapear into the night._

_The darkness around turns to light._

_Happy moments flow through my mind._

_No longer do i wish to die._

With his warm arms wrapped around her body she feels safe, just like nothing can go wrong. She smiles, and looks him in the eyes. She tells him that she will always have love for him, and she knows that his will be true, for now, and even after she has left this world. Everything seems worth while when she is in his warm, comforting arms.

_I feel like nothing can go wrong._

_When i'm in your arms so warm._

_I know that you love me._

_And that is all i need._

_I have no more worries._

_No longer to I have fears._

She has him to whipe away her tears, and he tells her that he was put on this Earth to be her protection. She smiles. They look eachother in the eye and they feel something. They both have a connection, unlike they have had with others. Yes, they have both had previous boyfriends/girlfriends, yet they had never felt something as special as the one they had now. They had never known the meaning of true love, untill they shared their first kiss. She hugged him goodbye one day, and looked into his eyes, she seemed to melt. The kiss she shared was haunting, never leaving both of their minds.

She has another friend. Two even. She can trust one with her life, and though she has not met the other, she knows that she can trust her with alot more. She spoke to this girl as much as she spoke to the people she knew. Speaking almost everyday, sending messages to eachother, and almost everytime they speak, she will smile, and feel happy for the first time it what seemed like forever. Yes, the warm arms of the boy she hold so dear was more then she could ever want, yet she was lucky to have friends as she did.

_No more tears drip down._

_Leaving stains on the ground._

_I hear one word from you._

_Or about the stupid things you do._

_And a smile can be seen._

_You are all that I need._

_Just to have a friend so dear._

_Seems to erase my every fear._

_Just to no that someone loves me._

_Thats the only thing I need._

**I Love You.**

Love. Does anyone know the true meaning? She does, when she is with her friends, and the boy she loves with all of her heart and more. She is the luckiest person alive and she knows it when she speaks to those she loves. At times, everything else is to much, and she does want out, but she hugs the one that cares, and she knows deap inside everything will be okay. He whipes away her tears, and her face starts to dry. She can now smile, with him by her side. She might have almost nothing, but when it comes to friendship, and the one she loves she has everything.

Ginny got up, leaving the poem on the table she work. She walked past the girl, with the one she loves, and wishes inside that she could be her. She has little, but she has everything when it comes to love. She might not have the best family in the word, but she sure has the best friends. Ginny look back, she too had friends like no-one else. The best of, forever more. She smiled, and walked away from the others.

**( I wrote the poem as i could hear people saying something about me. As I started to run out of ideas, i glanced towars my current boyfriend, who sat beside me. I started thinking, and I changed the end to what I had first thought. I had told my best best online friend that i was in a badmood over what I had heard people say and she sent me a message. Reading the mesage I started to write: Just to have a friend so dear, Seems to erase my every fear... **

**  
This girl, the one I talk about, the one with no name, i think... i think it is me... on some level... Maybe...)**


	4. Haunting Dreams

_The horror of my past darkens my eyes._

_And my life gets darker with everything i try._

_Black tears all hidden by the night._

_My life so dark there is no sign of light._

_Haunted dreams._

_Distant screams._

_Haunting lies._

_Soon to die._

_Blood drips down._

_Hitting the ground_

_Haunting dreams..._

_Eyeliner stains my face, because of the past._

_How long will this pain last?_

_My heart you broke._

_It was a joke._

_Did you laugh when i cried?_

_Will you laugh if i died?_

_It wont matter if i die._

_My whole life was a lie._

_I hurt me, and my friends._

_And this pain will never end._

_You did this damage._

_But you will manage._

_With a silver bullet and a gun._

_My blood begins to run._

_My life starts to drain._

_Now there is no more pain._

_I win..._

Ginny's dreams were haunted with tears and stained with her blood. Everything in her life seemed to fall apart. Her blood covered the floor, as she struggle to stay standing. She had little energy left, as blood drip down her arm to the ground. The cool blade of a knife was stuck in her heart, and she cound not remove it. The longer the knife was left there, the more her heart broke, untill it was clean in two. She fell to the ground, and cried herself untill she had left the word for good.

Dreams can come true, yet Ginny knew this one wouldn't. She had alot of pain in her life, yet she still had the ability to smile. She had ones she loved, who she held dear, and those were who matter, nothing, and no-one else. With them in her life, she would have everything, and this dream wouldn't come true.


	5. Kijo Speaks

Ginny lay awake, not able to fall back to sleep, to drift temporarily out of this world in to one where you can choose what happens. She lay, and once again that girl came to her mind. The happiness she felt now was thanks to the love she has found, yet the girl was heartbroken not too long ago, the last time she fell in love. Ginny wonder whether she would end up heartbroken, when she found the one she thought was the one? Yet, she thought about it. This girl was left heartbroken, yet if she had not gone through that pain and suffering she would not have ended up with the one she holds so dearly now, she would be with one she was happy with at the time, instead of one she was three time as happy with, and one she could talk to more. This girl had her doubts with her old boy, yet she had none with this one, she felt no pain, he caused little but happiness. Yes, true, she has cried in his company on several occasions, yet all of them he had his arm around her, telling her that everything would be okay, and that no matter what she would always have him.

xxx

Ginny stayed up the night writing about a girl who had troubled life. This girl that she had seen, in the arms of the boy she loved, it seemed to spark something in her mind. She kept writing, though it was no poem, it seemed to be more like a story. She thought, and guessed that most stories that will be submited will be all about a ghost haunting, yet the paper said that any haunted of any sort is aloud, what about the haunting of a girls life? Maybe that could work. There is no rule saying one person cannot submit two or more peices. Ginny continued writing this story. She kept it short, one chapter, knowing that she will have to read it out, or find someone willing to. If it was a book it would be the first chapter.

She sit down, with so many people surrounding her, yet it was as though she was in an empty room. Invisible. Ginny had finished of the story for now, and she now sit with the others, thinking of a poem. No new one came to mind, only peices from older ones she has written. She glanced towards Harry and sighed. Harry reached over, and picked up the pages of parechment Ginny had been working on. He flicked through the thick book, stopping at random pages to read a sentance or two. He reached a page near the end, and started to read. He mouthed the words as he reached the end.

_Just to no that someone loves me._

_Thats the only thing I need._

**I Love You.**

Harry looked towards Ginny as he read the last lines. A small smile apeared on his otherwise emotionless face. He did not know what to say. He loved what Ginny had wrote, the power of love... Ginny stare at the ground, not noticing Harry's stare. She sit with her head in hands, thinking, not noticing Harry pick up the book that she write. Harry placed the book back down, and got to his feet. One last glance at Ginny, and he walked off.

xxx

_A girl lay on her bed thinking. She had fears. Like alot of other people did. Most people fear simple stuff, that others might seem stupid. Bugs, spiders, and hights. Some people have a fear of drowning, even though they are a strong swimmer. Some people fear needles, others animals. Some people even have a fear of love, or maybe it is a fear of getting hurt once more, after being hurt so bad the last time they did love. This girl had a fear off loss. She feared everything would turn out the same way as it ahd done twice before. She was scared that she would have her heart broken once more, and worried that her back would be covered in knifes because of her friends starting to stab her in the back. She scared the loss of the boy she holds so dearl. She cries herself to sleep at night, her fears haunting her, and at times i wonder who she is. She sits alone, with no smile on her face, only a look of fear, or a look of hurt. Who is this girl? I wish that i even knew._

Ginny fall asleep on the desk she work. Beauty in every detail of her face. Her eyes closed, and her hair fallen over her face. Harry walk out, after another disturbd night. He smiles at the beautiful figure that lay sleeping. He walked over, and noticed the parchement that stick to her face. He gental removed it, and put it down beside her. He kissed her cheek softly, and walked out to the great hall. Ginny moved slightly, her eyes flickered at the touch of his soft lips. She sit, and stare at the wall, no thought running through her mind. Nothing.

After several moment she stand. She closed her eyes, and took a deap breath. Pictures flash in her eyes, of the girl she spent the night writing about. She walks out, following the path Harry had taken several moment earlier.

xxx

Ginny sit, staring at nothing. People around her laugh and talk. Noice, that is all Ginny can hear. Everyone around spoke, but didn't say anything that mattered. Nothing important. Not the slightest. All this noice, little meaning. She stand, and walk back.

She enter the now empty room. She glanced around and now noticed that there was only one other person in site.

'An empty room can be so loud, so many tears are needed to drown them out...' Kijo Oumu spoke out from the darkness. Black tears stained her face, as the eye-liner dripped down to the ground. 'So many reasons to cry, alot more reasons to just die. These stupid little things to there toll to, this pain is caused from the things people do. Small words an be as painful as a knife, and to much is enough to take someones life. I look all around me, noone caring is all i can see...'

'If you open your eyes and look around, if you stop staring at the ground, you will see people understand, and your heart they try to mend. Pain you feel they feel also, and they'll follow if you deside to go. One look in there eyes, and you no longer wish to die. Care about those you love, who love you to, other then the things other people do.' Ginny spoke up, now she stand behind the crying girl.


	6. Just a poem

_She smiles, but inside she cries._

_She lives, but inside she dies._

_She laughs, but inside she screams._

_Her emotions, never what they seem._

_She says_

_Laughter causes my tears to poor._

_Screams of joy are heard through the wall._

_I will continue to live my life._

_Nothing will stop me, no bullet nor knife._

_I frown when you leave me._

_But my smile you still can see._

_She says_

_I wont let nothing you do hurt._

_I'll bury it under the cool, dark dirt._

_I'll lock away my screams, hiding my fears._

_I wont let you see my tears._

_I hide where you can't see._

_Just so I can be me._

_I am who I am, you cannot chance that._

_You call me names, saying i'm ugly and fat._

_But i know that i am not._

_I know I am far from hot._

_Yet look in a mirror, and you will see._

_Who is truely ugly._

_My smile will lighten up inside these walls._

_And I might stumble, but you will fall._

_You laugh at this and that._

_I laugh at my friends stupid acts._

_You will call me names._

_I will play stupid little games._

_I will forever stay younge at heart._

_Like a never aging art._

_You will become old fast._

_Your youth will not last._

_You do stuff you never would have done._

_And you start to act like you have won._

_Yet you will loose when it really counts._

_And when i win you will hear my shout._

_HA! I win, so #&! off, get a life._

_Instead of using a knife._

_You cut when you hurt._

_I bury my feelings in the dirt._

_When i'm scared i hide behind my friends._

_When you are scared it is the end._

_And now this is the end of you._

_I wont put up with anything you do._

_Not for a second longer, not no more._

_I turn and walk out that door._

_I walk over to the one who loves me._

_Making sure you can see._

_You stay back and stare._

_Wishing that you couldn't care._

_You know your lifes been thrown away._

_But to you, it's just another day._

_She says: i've won and you have lost._

_Now I amm the boss._

_I win, once again._

_Now it's your turn to feel my pain._

_But instead i sit, and watch your tears._

_Not even laughing as you face your fears._

_I wont turn around this pain._

_Cause there is nothing to gain._

_I have it all with my true friends._

_Who will be here untill the end._

_Once again i have won._

_And now i am done._

**( I'm not sure what made me write this, I just sat down, thinking of what to write next. I had a few starts of both stories and poems, but none seemed to lead anywhere. With no more ideas, i just typed, and it turned into this poem...)**


	7. A strange acting Ginny

Ginny lay in her room thinking. It was the start of the Christmas holidays and Hermione sit with the others, leaving Ginny alone. Ginny lay, thinking. She heard the voices of the things haunting her, her thoughts, her dreams, her life. It was as if the room was talking. How is it that an empty room can be so loud. The dark moments in her life speak to her, yet she couldn't speak back. A knock on her door made her jump. She glanced over in the direction of her door, then closed her eyes thinking.

_'You know you can't hide forever...Come on out, face your fears...' _

Someone laughed. It seemed distant. Ginny opened her eyes and looked around. She saw the door swing close. She jumped up, and went to see who closed the door. 'It's just Harry...' She said, her heart pounding fast. She walk back into her room, and picked up a book that lay under her pillow. She flicked through and found a blank page.

_My heart pounds so fast when I see you._

_A smile apears when I think of what you do._

_I laugh, as i listen to you talking._

_When I think of you I start to sing._

_I always have you on my mind._

_You are definately one of a kind._

_With you in my mind i'll never fail._

_Just like some kind of romantic tale._

_With you in my life everything seems fun._

_I know deap down that your the one._

_I hurt when you do._

_I cannot live without you._

_I need you by my side._

_Or even just in my mind._

_And then nothing can ruin my day._

_I love things to be this way._

_Laughter and fears._

_Happiness and tears._

_You are then when I need you._

_Forever our love will remain true._

Another knock on her door. Ginny hide the book under a few peices of parchement just as Hermione walked in, and sat down on her bed. Ginny sighed, and got to her feet.

'I'm going to help mum with dinner...' Ginny said, in a cold, emotionless voice. She turn, and walk out of the room, leaving Hermione looking slightly upset.

_Why...Why is she acting this way? She seems to be ignoring as all, i wish i knew what she is thinking right now. I wonder if i said something to her..._ Hermione stare at the door, thinking about why Ginny would be acting this weird lately.

xxx

Ginny stand alone in the kitchen, cutting up an onion. Her eyes watered, though it wasn't because of the juices. Ginny thought about Harry as she cut the onions into small peices. She wanted to be with him, she loved him so much that words didn't describe it. Ginny lost herself into thought...

_He probably is still getting over Cho, i bet he still likes her, and if not why would he go for me. He is Ron's friend, thats why he even bothers to speak to me. I have always had fealings for him, since day one, and they have remained strong. I wonder, if he wasn't famous would I have loved him? Not as much at first, maybe, I don't know. I would still love him now though, there is more to someone then just fame, and look at half these other famous people, they are jerks who only care about themselves. Harry... He isn't like that, he would risk his life for a friend, giving up so much just for others to be happy. He has lived a troubled life, and yet he still worries more about others. He is certainly unique thats for sure... I don't know why I am even playing around with other guys hearts. I know, most care about popularity and looks, but maybe one would be hurt when it ends. This is definately not me. I think i might end it with Dean, save more heartbreak, that is... If he cares..._

Ginny sighed, and poored the onions into a sauce. She stired them, _the 'Muggle' way_. As she stired, Hermione entered the kitchen. She picked up another spoon, and begain to stir the other pot. Ginny made sure there was no more tears in her eyes, before she let Hermione get a glimps of her.

'Why are you down here? I thought you were in our room...' Ginny said, as she continued to stir.

'Don't you get bored... sitting in a room... all alone... nothing to do?' Hermione said, turning to face Ginny.

'I have things to do...'

'Like?'

'It's personal Hermione..' Ginny turned and started to set the table.

xxx

Harry sit down with Ron, playing another game of wizards chest. Hermione sit, Crookshanks on her lap. 'I think you should give Ginny more attention. You guys sit up here talking about quidditch, playing your stupid games, ignoring everyone. Ginny spends most her time locked in her room, the rest alone.

'Then why do you go out and talk to her? That way we can consentrate...' Ron sent one of his peices the attack Harry's knight.

Hermione let go of Crookshanks and he sprang towards the chess board, sending peices flying. Ron glared at Hermione, a glare she returned before she walk out of the room. 'That girl has problems...' Ron said as he reached under the bed to retreive a castle.

xxx

Hermione walked into the room she was staying in. 'Hey Ginny, what are you doing?' She said in a loud voice.

'Angry at Ron again... obvious...'

Hermione walked over to Ginny's bed. 'What you writing? A story? Diary? Homework?'

'It's... homework... for...err...'

Hermione picked up the peices of parchement. 'Err... They are all blank...' She said a confused look on her face. She put the parchement back down, and noticed something sticking out from under Ginny's pillow. She picked it up. It was a small black book, and it seemed to remind her alot of one she had seen before. 'Ginny, where did you get this?'

'Proffesor Burbage gave it to me. '

'Oh...Okay then...'

'Give it back, Hermione!'

She sighed, and handed back the small book. 'Why are you ignoring me?'

'I'm not, I'm doing work for muggle studies, and i can't work if people keep bugging me about it. Gosh!' She snatched the book back off Hermione, and stormed out of the room.

_I mean she keeps coming in to talk about Ron. Ron Ron RON! Why is it always about him, never me. HE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FAMILY YOU KNOW!!_

Anger flowed through Ginny's veins as she though this. 'Now i know... I understand...' She said as remembered what Kijo had said to her before.

_'What's on your mind right now?'_

_Kijo looked up. 'Blood. It run's through these walls unseen...'_

_This seemed to spark something in Ginny's mind. Most people would have walked away at that, but Ginny earned to no more. 'It cannot be unseen by all, if you know it is there?'_

_'It remains unseen, but not unheard. It flow's through our veins, and we don't always see it. The air, I can smell blood in it. Death..' A small smirk apeared on her face._

_'The air is unseen, yet it is still there, just like blood. But, whose blood is it that flows through these walls?'_

_'Mine drips down, not mixing with the others, everyone elses flows like normal.'_

'I am alone in this world, seperated, different to others. I'm pushed away. Everyone else sees me as weird, because I am different. I can have many around me, yet I am still alone, the odd one out...' Ginny sighed, and walked outside.

**( I can't seem to guess what i ment when I typed what Kijo said. I'm not sure ... **_**'Mine drips down, not mixing with others, everyone elses flows like normal.' **_**Maybe I ment that Kijo is different, like saying that everyones blood flows, but hers is different...Maybe... or maybe it means something else, it was just something that seemed to enter my mind, like it is an open door.)**


	8. eggshell dontask

_No-one seems to understand her. She smiles, yet inside she is crying a river, for no reasons, just because. At night, she silently cries herself to sleep, like there is no way out. She laughs, when she really wants to scream. She cries, when she just wants to die. She loves, yet she still does hate, she stays, but she wants to go. It is like there is no escape of this world she lives in. Lightning strikes at her heart each day. She wishes it would all change. There is a door, a way out, but it's locked. She is trapped. Her dreams are haunted by her dark life. There is no light in this room. The darkness around seems to find a way into her heart. The darkness takes over her soul. Her clothes darkness, her smile falters, and eyeliner tears are visable. She now cares not of what others say, she is now her true self, instead of the person that remain hidden, trying to be invisible. She use to hide in a corner, all alone, while others laugh at her. The things they throw hurt her, now she wont let that happen anymore. Her eyes, they turn evil, her hair lengthens and her eyes darken. It is all over, her old self, and now her life truely begins. She is still haunted, she had a haunted past, she will forever be a haunted girl. She deside she wont take as much as before, time to show the real her. She will smile when she wants to, and not when she is told to. She now screams instead of laughing, and cries when her heart is full of tears. She no longer hides half of her, she now loves, and hates more then before. She tells the ones she loves that she will always be there, and tells the ones she hates that the haunting she was giving will now be returned. She will keep the original, but she will create her own to return. The haunting will now be shared._

_She walks in the room, her true personality shown. Her clothes are now dark, and her eyeliner heavy. She doesn't smile, her emotions now dead. People stares, but she doesn't seem to care. She desides that now it is her turn to have some fun. She walks, shoving the one she hates out of her way. She looks into the eyes of the boy she loves. She smiles towards her friends. Hate fills her eyes as she turns her attention to her enimies. One walks over, and speaks. She doesn't hear, and does not care of what has been saif. She laughs, a cruel laugh. She smiles, as though possessed. It is now time for others to see she is not one to be messed with. With a blink an eye, hell is caused, and she now stands tall. Others now see that she is human too. People back away and her friends stare. She had fallen to the floor, but no tears escape. She wasn't hurt outside, but her heart ache. One arm can be felt around her shoulders, the others still kept there distant. The one shes loves kneels beside her. The only one that seems to care. People turn, leaving, yet they still talk about her. Her dark hair now covers her facce, sheilding her eyes, hiding her emotions. Crying, she wasn't. She got to her feet. Her hair covered her eyes, making her look more dark then before. It was as if the dark past she had was now taking control. Blink, once more, and now the others are on the ground. Blood, now drips from her eyes, as she watches the scence, as though from a distance. She laughs, but it wasn't her laugh. She speaks, in a cold voice unlike her own. People back away, scared look in their eyes. Only one person now remains standing with her. One she thought was one to hate._

_She looks up towards the one she loves, and stares into his eyes. The blood flow stops, to be replaced by tears. She bow her head, hiding her face from veiw. She speaks, her noice now her own. She says she messed up, and does not deserve to live. Kill me now, she says to him. She starts to walk away. She locks herself in a room, listening to screams so distant, as though coming from another world. No blood drips any more. She just sit, away from everyone else. She knows that if she stays with the others she would hurt them. She wishes not to, but she was haunted, she acted as though she was possesed, and she didn't want to no more. She forces a smile onto her face, and she faces her fears. _

_She walks out, and finds those she loves. She walks up to them., hearing them speak. Someone hugged her, but it was like they were faceless. She could hear laughter in the distances, but she drowned it out as she started to speak. Sorry, she says, for all she has done, she wishes she could be forgiven. She ask them to forgive, but knows they will never forget the pain she made them feal. She did not mean for this to happen, yet it still did. She knew if she stay away she would break her heart into a million peices, and she would hurt her friends just as much. As the blood on her shirt cooled, people feared her less. Her friends, they acted like normal, as though nothing was wrong. She smiled. She sit on the ground, watching others. She laugh as they show their true self. She wonders why she cannot show the her that is trying to break out. These people, they act the way they want, and not the way others say. She doesn't. She only shows half of herself, and people judge on what they see. She fears if she show the true her friends wouldn't treat her the same. Her friends are there because they think that is her, yet maybe they wouldn't be there no more if people found out the truth._

_Everyone, they dress up, cover their true selfs with make-up. She talk, in a voice other then their own. They laugh, when the others do. They hide themselfs, putting on a fake smile. If someone famous walked along the street, the person they would be if they had no fame, you wouldn't glance twice at them. Yet her, she acts the way people tell her to, and they still don't care. She wants to act like herself, and now she does. She gives up her old life, and starts the one she wants to live. She now shows her true laugh, her true smiles, and she now speaks in a voice thats her own. She walks over to her friends, tells them to get a life. She turns, and smiles as she watches people who are showing their true selves. She walks over, and taps there shoulders. She smiles as she says hello. She joins in on their fun and games, quickly becoming a friend. Those she once concidered to be friends quickly turned to enimies. She threw away all memories of the past, and tried to live a fresh life. Yet every step she took, it seemed to be leading her closer to the darkness. Her new friends still kept a light shining on her, just incase the others went out, yet she could still see dark around her. She hope that it won't take over her once more._

_She is now heartbroken, as the guy she loves says he loves her no more. Her tears cover the ground below her, enough to fill up a lake. One person remain at her side, to comfort her untill she was all cries out. He had a girlfriend, yet she was getting fealings for him. She new she would have to keep them secret, which made her heart break. The truth managed to leak out, and he broke up with his girlfriend. He spoke to her, and she replies in a cold voice, as she hide her emotions. He said her love for her was once weak, and now it was strong. She hugged him, then looked into his eyes. Her heart seems to soar, he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was just something else that haunted her, but for the first time, she didn't fear this haunting. She smiles at it, and became its friend._

_This girl, she now lives with her haunting. She laughs, and they all start to back away. At times she still cries herself to sleep, yet she now has someone by her side, who dries up those tears the next time she see's him. She holds the one she loves so dearly, and she holds her friends so tight, that there is no chance they would escape. She now knows her true friends, and her true love. She is still haunting by those she hates. Those friends that have thrown knifes at her, stabbing her back. She cries, but she ends ups laughing about it later. She is still haunted, but the haunting doesn't last night and day anymore. She smiles, yet inside she cries, yet she still knows her tears will soon dry._

**( And todays secret codewords iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis...drumroll! EGGSHELL! DON'T EAT IT ALL AT ONCE:D )**

xxx


	9. not all poems rhime

Ginny sat down in the common room, surrounded by people. The Christmas holidays had just ended, and everyone sat around catching up. No-one seemed to talk to Ginny much, as she sat in a corner a fair bit away from the others. She kept herself hidden in the shadows, thinking. She glanced over towards Kijo, and saw that she too was alone. A room so full of people, yet she felt so alone, distant from the others. She sighed, and got to her feet. Glancing around the room, she saw no-one that she wished to speak to. She got up and walked over to where Kijo sit. 'Have fun these holidays?' She sat down beside the girl, who stare at the ground, as though upset.

The dark looking girl didn't answer. She continued to stare at the ground, not blinking once. Ginny watched for a minute before she spoke up. 'What wrong?' Still no answer. 'Hey, Kijo, you say that no-one seems to care, yet i can see people around you that worry, that hurt when you do. Open your eyes and you'll see people do care...' Ginny got up, and walked up to her dormitory.

Kijo looked up as Ginny walked away. 'One person may care, but you don't understand how much pain I am feeling right now...'

xxx

'SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!' Kijo was in the hall way, and overheard, once again, people speaking about her. 'I'M BLOODY SICK OF LISTENING TO ALL OF YOUR SHIT! OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES AND YOU WILL SEE THAT OTHER PEOPLE DO HURT AT TIMES! I'M NOT FRIGGEN EMO! YET IF I WAS IT WOULD BE BECAUSE OF YOU!'

The others just looked at her funny. 'Back off... she might cut you aswell as herself.' A spell hit the person that just spoke, knocking her off her feet, hitting the wall behind her. Ginny walked over, her wand held loose by her side. 'Don't mess with my friend...Bitch.'

Kijo glanced over to Ginny. She seemed to not know what to say. Her eyes were wide, and she didn't look as dark as she usually does. Ginny looked over at Kijo, before she put her wand away, and started to walk off. Kijo didn't speak, but, as though she apeared out of nowhere, she was beside Ginny. 'I have to leave, muggle studies thing...' Kijo acted as though she couldn't hear, continuing to follow Ginny's footsteps. Ginny turned around to face her. 'Why are you here? Why are you following me form, if your not going to talk?' She did not sound angry when she spoke, but she was starting to get fed up with Kijo's attitude. She was never apreciating anything, and she refused to see the good things happening to her, only the bad, thinking that no-one cared.

'I'm not following you...' She said in a dark voice, moving infront of Ginny. She walked outside Hogwarts, Ginny following her footsteps. Ginny walk outside to a small group of people. They were all talking about the day they had planned. There was one person in the group who said they had submitted something, having it excepted. Kijo stood in the distance, watching the others talk. She was wearing a black skirt, and a red shirt, with one black sleave, that went up to her neck. She wore heavy eyeliner and looked very dark, once again. The others were all in muggle clothing, but more...girlish stuff. There was one boy in the group, who hung back, closer to Kijo. His frindge now covered his dark blue eyes.

Proffesor Burbage walked over to the group, and they started to make there way out of hogwarts.

xxx

Ginny hung around, watching the others speak. She was worried that she would mess up, she was scared that people would start treating her different when they heard about the poem, and story that she would soon be reading. The stories were being read first, and the fourth person stood infront of everyone here, reading out a story about a girl that was killed.

_''Aiko walked down a dark, deserted streat. Not a single soul walked the dark paths ahead. The cement paths seemed to turn into dirt, which soon became damp. After walking for a while Aiko found himself standing infront of a dark lake. He stood there, just staring into the distance. Infront of his eyes flashed the past that seemed to haunt this lake. A girl walked alonge the edge of this lake, she couldn't have been more then four years old. She looked to younge to even be that old. She stumbled on a rock, twisting her ankle. Tears fill the girls eyes, as she got to her feet. She started to walk, but this caused her pain. She knew she had to get home, so she turned around. All of a sudden an earpeircing scream filled the lake. A splash could be heard as the girl fell into the water. The voices that could be heard seemed distant, yet did they hear the girls scream?_

_Aiko's head filled with thoughts, but thoughts he did not know where they came from. They definately wasn't his own. He looked around the lake, seeing nothing but the hauntings that remain from the past. He stared at the lake, as though hoping for some answers. 'Hime...Oumu...' He continued to stare at the water, not knowing nor caring how long he stood there. After several minutes he heard Hime's scream once again. He turned to walk away, but he felt something on his shoulder. it felt like a cold, small, wet hand. He turned around to see nothing there. He felt his shoulder only to feel a small drop of water. He needed to leave, these memories were haunting him, and will end up killing him. Then he would be with Hime, and he would be happy, so it would be a win either way...''_

**(The story above was written origonally about Kijo Oumu not Hime Oumu, yet I couldn't have a story about her read out infront of people at her school :L  
Note: Kijo Means WITCH! Hehehehehe...Oumu also means parrot - my nickname for talking to much xP)**

'And now we listen to Ginny, who has a different kind of haunting then the others we have heard about tonight.'

Ginny closed her eyes, and took a deap breath. Opening her eyes, she walked out infront of everyone. In an emotionless voice, fit for the story, she spoke.

'Hauntings aren't just about deaths, ghosts, and murders, the haunting I write is about the haunting of a girl...'

_'A girl lay on her bed thinking. She had fears. Like alot of other people did. Most people fear simple stuff, that others might seem stupid. Bugs, spiders, and hights. Some people have a fear of drowning, even though they are a strong swimmer. Some people fear needles, others animals. Some people even have a fear of love, or maybe it is a fear of getting hurt once more, after being hurt so bad the last time they did love. This girl had a fear off loss. She feared everything would turn out the same way as it ahd done twice before. She was scared that she would have her heart broken once more, and worried that her back would be covered in knifes because of her friends starting to stab her in the back. She scared the loss of the boy she holds so dearl. She cries herself to sleep at night, her fears haunting her, and at times i wonder who she is. She sits alone, with no smile on her face, only a look of fear, or a look of hurt. Who is this girl? I wish that i even knew._

_The girl, she cries inside, but when she hugs one she loves, the friends she holds so dearly, she smiles. When she sits with her friends you can see the happiness in her eyes, and not much can bring her down. It is not exactly rare to see her laugh, but it isn't always easy. Smile is etched onto her face when she hangs with those she holds dearly. She laughs at the stupidity of the others, and at times she even puts a smile on their faces. She smiles, when she sees them smile, and she laughs along with the others._

_When she is alone, without those she loves, she stares at the ground. Now she hears what the sound of her laughter drowned out. She listens to the voices of those that talk about her behind her back. The so called friends that she use to have, saying this and that, Now her smile is whiped away, and she no longer feels happy. She smiles, or try to, but inside she is hurt, as every word that is said stabs her heart. She bleeds inside, because she is unable to now show her pain. She is not aloud to say that she is upset or angry, because if anyone was listening, they would laugh. Their laughter rang in her ears as they spoke about her. It seemed to penitrate her mind. It was like a bullet, aimed for the heart. A bullet wound can be healed, yet the wound of those that now speak will forever be around, healing, but not completly. Everytime she smiles, she is healed slightly, yet the scars re-open as the words reach her ears._

_Now her friends return, and sit beside her, talking, being themselfs. They don't seem top know what is wrong, but she doesn't feel like anything is wrong at the present time. She smiles, as one of those she loves comes up to speak to her. She smiles, and acts like nothing wrong, yet she keeps writing down her feelings. One glace at her, and everything seems like normal. Look deap into her eyes, then you will see what is truely wrong. The only thing she can hear as those that talk, those that laugh about her. The only thing she can see is the pain the she feels. In the distance she can see her smile, and she can hear her friends laughter, yet it seems forever away, as though it would take her months just to reach that prize._

_She feels sick, and she looks it. Yet is she ill, or maybe she is simply sick of the life she lives. I know it causes her pain to think of the dark memories from the past. She thinks, and it seems like nothing. Yes if she wrote all of her troubles from the past down, you would laugh and say she has had a pretty easy life, yet if you felt the pain she felt, you would then understand. It seems at some points that no-one understands her, yet she knows that one person in this world does, and if she looked harder, maybe she would see that others around do understand, maybe, maybe not._

_Sometimes this girl has had to much. She is asked if she is okay. She answers yet, but knows it is not true. She looks around, urging herself not to cry, she sees people, she hears them talk, yet not hearing a word they say. She runs out, not seeming to care what she runs into, or who she hurts. She kicks the wall, as more tears fall from her face. Those who seem to care walk out to check on her, or maybe they were finding out what was wrong, just to laugh about it behind her back. She sits on the stair case, looking down. She wishes to jump down, yet she looks around, and knows that it is not worth it. She can see a few of those she cares about standing beside her. She knows then that she is okay, and she walks back in the class room. She knows people are talking, laughing, yet she doesn't listen. She has cried her feelings away for now, and now its time for her to smile. More tears will soon be spilt, but not now, and if she is lucky, not for a while._

_Like any other person, she isn't liked by everyone. She has her problems with certain people. This girl, she foun love, and was happy, yet she heard voices that speak her fear. She sits in a room with those who laugh about her once more. Tears fall down her cheeks, yet no-one is looking. The love she has found is distracted, and talking to his other friends, but she doesn't care, she doesn't want anyone to noticed these tears._

_She walks out of the room, her tears dry for the moment, the others by her side. She hugs her love, and he knows that something is wrong. He asked, and she starts to cry once more. She speaks her fears, to those that are listening and yet as she speaks them she knows that they wouldn't come true soon. People she had never seen before started talking, playing games with her fears, yet tears now fall to the ground, and nameless people walk up to her, just to make sure she is okay. She knows it is stupid to cry over such a small thing, but she cant help it, even as she thinks about it now, tears fill her eyes, threatening to strain her cheek. One thing makes her cry more. She sent a mesage to her friend, and as she read her reply tears start to fall like a raindrop from the sky. The reply, saying that one option was to break the heart of the one she loved. Tears fell at a faster pace as she read this, she read just what she feared, that the one she loved would not be with her much more._

_More tears spill as she receive more messages, in hopes that she would die. She spoke to her love, telling him her thoughts. All of this seemed to be over a boy. He asked, wanting to know if she would end it. She denied, an ask if he planned to. He said he wouldn't even think of it. She feared that it would soon end, but she knew that it wouldn't. She hope that it would not end, not now, not ever._

_She sit, writing down her feelings, and she thinks. She knows that she has everything when it comes to the friends, and the love she has. She is happy, and she wonders whether she deserves all of this at times. She wishes she will always have the friends she trusts, and the boy she loves dearly._

_I do wish i knew this girl, i know alot about her, to be writing what I am, yet it seems, at times, that her friends no her better. It seems weird that my friends know me better then I do. That is why I do not know this girl. I have known her since the moment she took her first breath, yet her friends seem to know her better. Her friends, my friends. I am a girl who ran out of the room, after taking to much, but now i sit here, and i say my feelings. As I type, tears do feel my eyes. I think, and at times it becomes to much. I have little worries right now, a break from the world as I type. Right now, a break from those who have caused me pain, yet i still manage time with those who have kept me alive. My friends; the only reason for me to get up of a morning. The only reason for me to breathe. Yes, it is true that I have grown up with no true friends, and the few friends i've had ended up causing more pain then I could have imagined. Why should friends mean so much to me now? I've never had ones like i do now, and if i lost them I would have no point of living. I hear about the stupid things that they have done to themselfs, and I cry myself to sleep, though i know they are now fine, or that it wont happen. I feel more pain when my friends hurt, or tell me about them hurting, then I do when i hurt myself.'_

Ginny walked of stage as she said her final word. She sit down on a chair close by, and put her head in her hands. She was lost in thought once more...

'And now Kijo, who plans to show her true fealings'

Ginny looked up as Kijo walked past. Kijo looked dead, literally. Her skin was usually pale, yet it was more so then usual. Her eyeliner was smudged, and she looked as though she had been crying. Blood dripped down from her mouth, and the bandage that usually covers her wrist seemed to be loose, as though she had hurried when she put it on.

Ginny stood up, and walked over to where she had a clear veiw of the stage. She heard people mutter as they saw Kijo walk onto stage.

'This is neither poem nor story...this is my life...'


	10. A true friendxxLook me in the eyes

Kijo spoke about the horror of her past, and as Ginny watched she realised the girl that she has been writing about for the past months now stood on the stage infront of many. Ginny sighed. 

_A girl can stand right infront of many, yet still isn't seen. She hides her real self, and becomes someone else. No-one notices her, standing there alone, yet surrounded by many. Almost like being invisible. She wishes to be seen, wishes to be heard, and now she has the chance to. She speaks out, and others judge. Many do not know how much it hurts just for her to stand up infront of everyone, to be seen for the first time in her life. She is no longer invisble, and now people see, and people judge. No-one smiles, they can see she is hurt, yet people do talk, as she says that little words can hurt as much as a knife going through your chest. She cries, as she tells people her story. She isn't afraid anymore, not of what she was. Everyone is afraid of something, even if they deny it, and she might be saying, but her fears have changed. She is no longer scared of what people think of her, and she has no more fear of everyone turning on her if she shows her true self. This girl, she was scared, scared of her self, her true self. She hid, she ran away from herself. She changed what scared her, so it would haunt her no more. It worked, but her hauntings came back, she now a fear no one knew. She now feared people would open there eyes and realise what stares into their eyes. She isn't scared of herself, she is scared of what she has become. She changes back, knowing well whats done is done. She knows she cannot start again, yet she continue on from the life she has lived. She lets her fears fly away, faces what truely haunts her. Now the ghost of her past hides, scared. She shows her true self, and the things that haunted what she became were now scared. She still cries, yet half these tears are of happiness, and her realising how lucky she truely is. She opened her eyes for the first time in years, and she saw the friends that surrounded her. She cries, thinking how truely lucky she was. Now when feels misunderstood, she looks into her friends eyes. She knows that having even one person in this world that understands..she knows this makes her lucky. She laughs, and now her screams are those of joy. She no longer screams in pain that she causes , just to clear her mind. No, she now screams when the one she loves has her pinned to the groundm and is tickling her. She cries tears that are of laughter. She smiles on her wedding day, and she knows everything is complete. She is no longer haunted, and she beaten the ghost that tried to put an end to her. She still had her bad days, often at times, yet when she is in the arms of someone shes cares about she realises that it is all worth while. She is still alive, is she not, and she watches herself live her life, with a smile on her face, knowing all is well. She leaves, and knows nothing is wrong. Her life has worked out, the bad being just a blessing in descise. Now she faces reality once more, but this time she knows the rules, and she will win the game._

People talked as Kijo finish speaking. Many do not know what they should say. Kijo stand, watching over everyone. Her tears rolls down her cheek, and she bleeds, from the heart, and from her eyes. She smiles, though she is in pain no-one would be able to stand, yet she knows she has felt worse. She takes on deap breath, and more tears fill her eyes. She wonders if she has lost it all, from saying what she had. She showed her real self on that stage, and nothing will take back what she said. She laughs, as more tears fall to the ground below. One more deap breath, she hopes everyone wont begin to fall apart. She doesn't know what she should say now, she waits, as though waiting for someone to speak the words on her mind. Ginny watch, and she knows actings prove more then words. She takes one step forward, and Kijo turns to face her. Ginny walked over to where Kijo stood. Kijo could not take her eyes of her, she wondered what next. She knew that now people understood her. She knew, Ginny was the only one that saw the true her from the start, believing what she saw when she looked in Kijo's eyes, instead of what she has been told. Ginny pu her arms around Kijo, hugging her tightly. The hug said that people did understand. Kijo's eyes looked slightly shocked, she had never hugged before. She tried to hug Ginny back. She looked into Ginny's eyes. She knew, that Ginny too was haunted.

Kijo turned, and faced the croud once more. She looked towards the people that had once hurt her beyond the pain she had ever felt. She looked into the boy that sit away from the others. He too had a haunted past, one full of death and heart break. All he had once loved seemed to disapear, leaving scars that could be seen if you looked into dark eyes, his eyes as dark as his past, yet he still breathed, and he still had the ability to smile.

Kijo looked towards a girl with long blonde hair, pink tips. She knew this girl, just like she knew herself. Hime, she was beautiful, and people seemed to love her. She had many friends, and was always laughing. She had blue eyes, that seemed to smile everytime you looked into them. She always had a smile on her face, yet she too was hurt, haunted by a ghost of her mother.

She glanced towards a girl that spent her life ruining others. She laughed, a cruel dark laugh. She was pretty, and she knew it. SHe always got her own way. She owned many souls. She stolen many lives, hurting those that remain innocent. Yet she too has been hurt. The boy she had once loved had done something to her that changed her life forever.

Everyone was haunted in a different way then what you see when you first look at them. When you see someone, you go by the way they act, yet if look into their eyes you will see the true them. They hide, but they can be seen if you look hard enough. They laugh, they cry, they scream, they die, they love that hate, their bad their grea.t You never know what is really in someones heart, not into they trust you enough to give you half of it. Her heart, it remain in one peice, yet it was damaged. She had never trusted anyone enough to give them her heart, not even the tiniest bit of it. It was damages as people tried to steal it off her, but she still held on tight to it.


	11. Love Is Always Followed By Heartbreak

Kijo spoke about the horror of her past, and as Ginny watched she realised the girl that she has been writing about for the past months now stood on the stage infront of many. Ginny sighed.

_A girl can stand right infront of many, yet still isn't seen. She hides her real self, and becomes someone else. No-one notices her, standing there alone, yet surrounded by many. Almost like being invisible. She wishes to be seen, wishes to be heard, and now she has the chance to. She speaks out, and others judge. Many do not know how much it hurts just for her to stand up infront of everyone, to be seen for the first time in her life. She is no longer invisble, and now people see, and people judge. No-one smiles, they can see she is hurt, yet people do talk, as she says that little words can hurt as much as a knife going through your chest. She cries, as she tells people her story. She isn't afraid anymore, not of what she was. Everyone is afraid of something, even if they deny it, and she might be saying, but her fears have changed. She is no longer scared of what people think of her, and she has no more fear of everyone turning on her if she shows her true self. This girl, she was scared, scared of her self, her true self. She hid, she ran away from herself. She changed what scared her, so it would haunt her no more. It worked, but her hauntings came back, she now a fear no one knew. She now feared people would open there eyes and realise what stares into their eyes. She isn't scared of herself, she is scared of what she has become. She changes back, knowing well whats done is done. She knows she cannot start again, yet she continue on from the life she has lived. She lets her fears fly away, faces what truely haunts her. Now the ghost of her past hides, scared. She shows her true self, and the things that haunted what she became were now scared. She still cries, yet half these tears are of happiness, and her realising how lucky she truely is. She opened her eyes for the first time in years, and she saw the friends that surrounded her. She cries, thinking how truely lucky she was. Now when feels misunderstood, she looks into her friends eyes. She knows that having even one person in this world that understands..she knows this makes her lucky. She laughs, and now her screams are those of joy. She no longer screams in pain that she causes , just to clear her mind. No, she now screams when the one she loves has her pinned to the groundm and is tickling her. She cries tears that are of laughter. She smiles on her wedding day, and she knows everything is complete. She is no longer haunted, and she beaten the ghost that tried to put an end to her. She still had her bad days, often at times, yet when she is in the arms of someone shes cares about she realises that it is all worth while. She is still alive, is she not, and she watches herself live her life, with a smile on her face, knowing all is well. She leaves, and knows nothing is wrong. Her life has worked out, the bad being just a blessing in descise. Now she faces reality once more, but this time she knows the rules, and she will win the game._

People talked as Kijo finish speaking. Many do not know what they should say. Kijo stand, watching over everyone. Her tears rolls down her cheek, and she bleeds, from the heart, and from her eyes. She smiles, though she is in pain no-one would be able to stand, yet she knows she has felt worse. She takes on deap breath, and more tears fill her eyes. She wonders if she has lost it all, from saying what she had. She showed her real self on that stage, and nothing will take back what she said. She laughs, as more tears fall to the ground below. One more deap breath, she hopes everyone wont begin to fall apart. She doesn't know what she should say now, she waits, as though waiting for someone to speak the words on her mind. Ginny watch, and she knows actings prove more then words. She takes one step forward, and Kijo turns to face her. Ginny walked over to where Kijo stood. Kijo could not take her eyes of her, she wondered what next. She knew that now people understood her. She knew, Ginny was the only one that saw the true her from the start, believing what she saw when she looked in Kijo's eyes, instead of what she has been told. Ginny pu her arms around Kijo, hugging her tightly. The hug said that people did understand. Kijo's eyes looked slightly shocked, she had never hugged before. She tried to hug Ginny back. She looked into Ginny's eyes. She knew, that Ginny too was haunted.

Kijo turned, and faced the croud once more. She looked towards the people that had once hurt her beyond the pain she had ever felt. She looked into the boy that sit away from the others. He too had a haunted past, one full of death and heart break. All he had once loved seemed to disapear, leaving scars that could be seen if you looked into dark eyes, his eyes as dark as his past, yet he still breathed, and he still had the ability to smile.

Kijo looked towards a girl with long blonde hair, pink tips. She knew this girl, just like she knew herself. Hime, she was beautiful, and people seemed to love her. She had many friends, and was always laughing. She had blue eyes, that seemed to smile everytime you looked into them. She always had a smile on her face, yet she too was hurt, haunted by a ghost of her mother.

She glanced towards a girl that spent her life ruining others. She laughed, a cruel dark laugh. She was pretty, and she knew it. SHe always got her own way. She owned many souls. She stolen many lives, hurting those that remain innocent. Yet she too has been hurt. The boy she had once loved had done something to her that changed her life forever.

Everyone was haunted in a different way then what you see when you first look at them. When you see someone, you go by the way they act, yet if look into their eyes you will see the true them. They hide, but they can be seen if you look hard enough. They laugh, they cry, they scream, they die, they love that hate, their bad their grea.t You never know what is really in someones heart, not into they trust you enough to give you half of it. Her heart, it remain in one peice, yet it was damaged. She had never trusted anyone enough to give them her heart, not even the tiniest bit of it. It was damages as people tried to steal it off her, but she still held on tight to it.

xxx

Ginny sat around the common room, talking to Kijo. Many people stared at her, as she sat in the distance. Others laughed, and spoke about her. Ginny ignored the words she could hear, and she knew Kijo was too. She knew, when she looked into Kijo's eyes, that Kijo was hurt, and that she was haunted, this haunting seemed to take over herself, and she picked up a cool razer blade. Ginny spoke, at first she avoided mention of Kijo's haunted past, yet she knew that it was apart of Kijo, and made her who she now was. Ginny smiles, and reached out, taking Kijo's arm. Kijo's eyes widened, and she moved, pulling her wrist away. 'There is no cut, that shows the scars of my haunting.' Ginny stared, she knew the truth. Kijo had once hurt herself to get rid of the pain she felt. She knew, that as Kijo watched the blood drip down, it was like watching her troubles...watching them flow from her body, and hitting the ground, where they will remain. She knew, that Kijo had once hurt herself, yet she now knew the full meaning of love, and now she refused to hurt herself once again. 'Love hurts enough...Doesn't it? The heartbreak, it being thrown around the room, trodden on, stabbed, untill it is beyond repair, why cause more damage to it...'

Ginny reached over, picking up a bottle of butterbear. Fred came over and offered something to Kijo. She took one bite of it just as Ginny took a sip of her drink. Ginny burst out in laughter, spitting out butterbear, and spilling the rest of the bottle into her lap, as Kijo turned into a canary. After she moulted, she got to her feet, and walked over to the twins. 'Which one of you...invented..that...err wonderful custard thing?' She gave them an innocent look...well as innocent as she could, being the dark girl she was :). The twins didn't answer. 'No...well then both of you will be punished!' The twins looked at eachother, and smirked. 'Punished? Gonna give us detention, like to see your punishment.' They said at the same time. Kijo grabbed one of the canary custards and shoved it into Freds face. She waved her wand, and a bowl of whipped cream soared over to her. She dumped it over George's head and smirked. She faced Ginny, who smiled. Kijo smiled back, smiling for the first time since she was accepted into Hogwarts.

The scars that are on Kijo's wrist have long healed, and her fears have also changed. She brings a blade to her skin, and she knows that she cannot cut, she is scared. She now fears the cool blade mixing with her blood. Her blood now flows like normal, no longer dripping down. She has won this long battle. She now laughs along with the others, and smiles when she sees them.

xxx

Harry enter the common room, he looked around to see who had won the final quidditch match. As Ginny ran up to him, he no longer cared about the game, or that many people watched. He kissed the girl that he loved. Ginny's heart cried with joy, she was now with the one she loved with all of her heart. She knew that at some point it would end with heartbreak, but she was happy, and she smiled for what seemed like the first time in months. She would enjoy the time she could spend with Harry, taking many footpaths to avoid the one that led to heartbreak.

xxx

The smell of lavender reached Ginny's nose. The light of a single burning candle lit the room. She lay on hee bed, she no logner smiled. She remain heartbroken. She cried no more, yet she hurt just as much. Her tears had long dried, but the glue she had wasn't strong enough to hold her heart together. She saw this day coming, yet she hope it wouldn't.

xxx

Dark and twisted thoughts ran through her head.

Her heart was fillled with dred.

She hated seeing what became of he life.

She rufsed to pick up the cool knife.

She would hurt herself no more.

She sends her fears out the through the door.

At night she still secretly cries.

But she no longer has to wish to die.

She still cries, screams, and hides.

From her fears that haunt her nights.


	12. Open Your Eyes

Harry had left the day of the wedding. Ginny spent nights worried about him, not hearing a single word about his safety. She knew that she would have found out if he had been killed, yet she still cried herself to sleep, praying that he was okay.

_Dark make-up stains my eyes._

_Heavy eyeliner smudges when i cry._

_Dark eye-shadow hides the real me._

_If you look into my eyes you can no longer see._

_My black nail polish now stains your clothes._

_Your lip bleeds, hidden under your darkened lips._

_Now my lips darken with your kiss._

_I kiss you one last time.  
As your blood drains and you die._

_Draw an eyeliner heart on your cheek._

_Your nothing more then something weak._

_Your weak, you cry._

_Your weak, you'll die._

_You hide, your scared._

_You leave, we don't care._

_You say hi._

_We say bye._

_So leave now you weak mortal._

_We are strong, immortal._

_I have won this battle, i'm strong._

_You know you would have never won._

_Your weakness causes you to bleed._

_Your innocent, we're demon seeds._

_We have one, the dark of us._

_Now you hear a cruel dark laughs._

_The dark has won over the light._

_We take day, turn it to night._

_I grab my eye-liner and draw a tear._

_And say that i have a fear.  
Then i laugh, say your weak if you fear._

_I will only cry a fake tear._

_My eyes water when the wind blows fast._

_I do not care, the sound of smashing glass._

_A peice cuts me, and from my finger I bleed._

_Like a thirsty vampire i suck the blood from me._

_I laugh as see your face._

_Next your dead, face covered, black lace._

xxx

_People say that they hate someone for something they do, yet they do the same thing. They say that they hate people not saying, yet when they do say, they complain, and see they didn't need to know that. They say that you gave them too much information, yet when they don't hear what they wanna they say not enough. When you say you wont tell, say it's a secret, they for you to tell. You tell, and they say we made to much hype over something so small. Saying that you say we will tell you when no-one else is around, as they want no-one else to know. When you do say, that person has a go at you, they say all that was for nothing, thinking it was something bigger then what was said. People, more like pathetic. Other people they cry, saying they are ugly, and thats why she had her heart broken. Yet she types, online, saying that she is pretty. She cuts, but tells everyone, she gets even more popular. People say that I cut, and they torment me over it. This isn't about what you do, it's about who you are, and you have to pretend to be someone your not. I don't so i live with torment, but also i live with love. These girls, they don't know love, they go popular, older, hotter. Me, i go for love. I know the meaning of love, and true heartbreak. These girls, I don't know what they know, but it isn't alot._

_She says that she is hurt, a girl with a dark past, but she doesn't know how dark somones past can get. She still has the ability to smile, yet the girl with the true dark past cannot. While laugh, this other girl, she cries, wishing that she could die. Simple wish, yet it has never been so complicated. She knows that people are talking about her right now, yet she still breathes, though she has lost most she breaths for. She stays alive, for one thing. i would say one small thing, but it isn't small. Love, the love of one, or maybe two. When you hear love you firstly think of boyfriends and girlfriends, yet what about the stronger love you have, love of a friend, love of one that you care about, isn't that just as strong. You hold on, just for the one person you love. You see the love for a guy, or for a girl, it comes and it goes shortly after. Love for a true friend, it stays. You fight, but then you laugh. When it comes to love of a friend, their nothing more powerful. Love, the strongest force of all, magic that all can feel. In my heart right now, I love three people will all of my heart. _

_She says this she says that, yet she knows nothing about dark. This other girl, the one that cries, when she watches others laughs, she has everyone againts her, her own mother thinking that she hurts herself. She hates having a tag put on her, being called 'Emo' or 'Gothic' when she knows she isn't. She knows, she is emo at heart, yet she doesn't hurt herself, she cannot. She can't bring that blade to her wrist to cut herself, instead she cries herself to sleep. With everyone saying she hurts herself, it is almost like everyone saying they want her to. Soon this might push her over the edge, and cause her to hurt herself. She cannot cut, as it would be seen, and she cannot cry, as her eyeliner will show that._

_You think you know someone, yet when you see them walking on the street, their true selves, you don't see. People, they keep their eyes closed to the truth seeing only what they wish to see._

_Open your eyes, and you will realise that you are everything you hate. Clean out your ears, and you will hear that those you call your friends talk about you. They have opened their eyes, but they refuse the speak what remains on their minds. Instead they talk you, behind your back. They say this and that, trying to bring you down. You cry, yet when you see others in tearsm you laugh at them. I have had tears fall, and yet when i see you cry i ask if your okay, when you see me cry, you laugh, saying i'm nothing more then a baby._

_If i said anything to you that you've said, i'd be down on the ground, face in the dirt. You say what you want, and you get away with it, yet one day you will get the punishment you need. You will say something to the wrong person, and hopefully you will regret it. I can see you, someone who has hurt me once more, i see you alone, and i ask, making sure your okay. I say to come and hang with the others, and yet if you see me alone you ask where are my friends, then say that I have none. It is you that has no true friends, i know which of my friends I can call true. I speak to you, say open your eyes. You say the name of one that truely cares, yet you spent half of your time once making her life hell. You do this, you do that, something you would not do, if others hadn't made you. You do stuff, that girls your age shouldn't. You will end up regreting what you do._

_As you grown older, you notice that people are the same as they were before. Much has changed. More peircings, dark hair, tears, and heartbreak. You move faster, then you had ever thought. One small kiss, turns into much more. I say no, and stop when i know i should, but you keep going, untill the job is finished. I don't often quit but when the job is a hand job, then i can say no, and know that when I end up leaving school it wont be because I am pregnant, it will be because I have finished the job i go to school to complete._


	13. I Miss You

**(Song - Miley Cyrus - I miss you.)**

_Sha la la la la, sha la la la la. You used to call me your angle, said i sent straight down from heaven. You'd hold me close in your arms, i loved the way you felt so strong, i never wanted you to leave, i wanted you to stay here holding me. I miss you, i miss your smile, and i still shed a tear every once in a while and even though its different now, your still here somehow, my heart wont let you go, and i need you to know, i miss you sha la la la la, i miss you. You use to call me your dreamer, and now i'm living out my dream. oh how i wish you could see, everything thats happening for me. I'm thinking back on the past, it's true that time is flying by to fast. I miss you, i miss your smile, and i still shed a tear every once in a while, and even though its different now, your still here somehow, my heart wont let you go and i need you to know, i miss you sha la la la la i miss you. _

Ginny listen to the song that she could here in the distance. Tears filled her eyes, she missed Harry dearly. Missed seeing his face everyday, hearing his voice. She missed him, his gental kiss, his tight hols, as thouhg wishing that he would never leave her arms. She needed him to breathe, and now he was so far away she had little air.

xxx

_I see you here, by my side_

_And i know everythings alright._

_I feel your touch, and shivers run up and down my spine._

_You are always what is on my mind._

_When your near, i smile._

_When i see you i can go that extra mile._

_I know your love for me remains strong._

_I know that your the one._

_I can't rid my thoughts of you._

_Or the things that you do._

_I see a picture of you in my mind._

_You are one of a kind._

_As sweet and gental as a butterfly._

_You'll be in my mind even after i die._

_As tough and strong as a shark in the sea._

_You know you mean everything to me._

_Words are hard to say how i feel._

_If love is a sickness i'm 100 percent ill._

_I'll love you for life and more._

_Your the one that i've been looking for._

_Your in my dreams, day and night._

_I want to be with you for life._

_I love you says alot, but nothing compared to how i feel about you._

_I smile and laugh at the things you do._

_The words you speak are all i can hear._

_My heart pounds fast when you are near._

_Your here to dry my tears._

_And to erase my every fears._

_You say you've been put on this Earth to protect me._

_If love is blind, then i can no longer see._

_Your love shines so very bright._

_Blinding me, cursing my eyes._

_But i don't need to see to know it's true._

_It's obvious that I love you._

xxx

_Have you ever thought of suicide? As though it was the only way out. You know that the people around you care, but the one thing that made you hurt this way takes over. You know that everything will be okay, but that will only last for a while, before your world turns upside down again. You can't speak to the one you love, so you speak to a friend, she tells you not to cry, then she makes you smile. You think that what your upset about is nothing, but then the convosation dies down you you, once again, get thinking about that thing thats urging you to leave this world forever. You know that you have those you love, and ever want to leave, but as you close your eyes all you can see is a rope hanging off your neck. You see your blood staining your white sheets, and you smile. Your pain is now over. Everything is now good, now tears of the ones you love poor down, mixing with your blood. You see them and cry, and know that what pushed you over the edge was nothing, something small._


	14. Tears Over Fred

Ginny's heart pounded. Tears fell from her eyes into her tangled hair. People talked, saying Harry was now dead. Lights flashed from every direction, spells narrowly missing her. She stand, fighting with that who took the life of her brother. She screamed, as a green light flashed by her head. 'Not my daughter, you bitch!' was all that could be heard, before Molly jumped in, soon killing Bellatrix Lestrange with a flick of her wand.

Harry made it known that he was still alive. He shouted out a spell to protect Molly Weasley. Peope screamed, saying Harry was alive, they were scared, and they fell silent as Harry looked into Voldemort's cold, catslit eyes. Circling eachother, Harry made it clear that he wanted no help as he murders the man who has killed more then anyone in the wizarding world. Ginny's heart pounded, as she struggled to breath. Her eyes were widened, as she feared that the one she loved might come to an end, infront of her very eyes. Ginny turned away, tears stinging her eyes. She held her mother tightly as more screams filled the hall, and more lights flashed.

_'Avada Kedavra!'_

_'Expelliarmus!'_

Ginny turned her head, scared of what she might see. Her heart lept as she saw the body of Voldemort, laying lifeless. She turned to Harry, who held Voldemort's wand tightly in his hand. It was all over. People around started to chear, loud, yet meaningless to Ginny. Her heart, still pounding faster then ever, was to loud to hear any of the useless noice around her.

xxx

Ginny rest her head on her mothers shoulder, silently crying. She moved slightly as she felt a breeze behind her, she knew Harry wanted some time alone right now. Ginny cried, now not only about the loved ones she had lost, but the fact she seemed to have lost Harry.

_I know you here, watching over me._

_All the pain I feel, I know you can see._

_You stand here watching._

_Like a ghost of a haunting._

_You watch over me, making sure I dont get hurt._

_And they say you are gone, under the dirt._

_But they don't know you like I do._

_The shiver down my spine, that voice, it's you._

_You are still here, like before, in your own form._

_When I enter a room, I see you standing by the door._

_When i sit down and think, I see you in my mind_

_You are definately one, one of a kind._

_Everything about you I miss._

_Your hold, your touch, your hug your kiss._

_Your smile haunts me, as I try to sleep._

_I know your here, in the dark so deap._

_I now laugh, but it's with thoughts of you._

_I do the same stupid things you use to._

_The house is quiet, without you here._

_My heart is hallow, without you near._

_You use to always seem to make us smile._

_I feel you here, though were seperated by miles._

_Your love is the thing I miss._

_My cheek still tingles from your last kiss._

_And now your gone, my tear fill a river._

_I miss you, but i'll remember you forever._

**(Poem for Fred, by Ginny, who missed her brothers hugs and kisses, and misses having him around, leaving the house as quite as it has been in many years. She still hears the distant footsteps of the brother she loved, and holds so dearly in her heart. To those who have lost one they loved, note they will always be in your heart, and though miles may seperate you, they will always be there with you, in your heart, in your mind, in your soul. True love, whether for a friend, or more, never dies, and though the one you love may, they are still here, and though you may be able to see them now, close your eyes, and look into your soul, and you will memories, you will see that person you love, their tears, their laughter, their anger, and their joy. You will see them, unlike before. Never let them out of your heart, as they will never truely die, if you hold them dear.)**


	15. Love

_You left my heart, snapped in two._

_And it now starts to repair, thanks to you._

_It was snapped even more, with the love I have lost._

_It seemed that happiness came at a cost._

_I find it hard to smile, without them by my side._

_I find it hard, to even try, without them on my mind._

_My heart will never be the same, without them here._

_I'll always find it hard, without them near._

_But their one love, that remains close to me._

_It's the love you have, that I can see._

_The one I love, and hold so dear._

_The person that is so near._

_Yet your love is still far away._

_Moving further everyday._

_It's now or never, for love so true._

_Act now, so I can have you._

_I walk out, and look in the eye._

_My heart soars into the sky._

_I see in your eyes, you want what I do._

_I can tell, you want me and you._

_Now i cry, into your warm hold._

_Our love we have never getting old._

_I now cry, thinking about what I loss that night._

_Yet I smile, of what I won after that fight._

_The fight that ruined my life forever._

_The thing that I will forget never._

_Tears, and blood, still falls._

_Staining all the walls._

_I still hold those i lost so dear._

_And i can feel them so near._

_I miss them, and love them, with all of my heart._

_And now my life freeze, a picture of art._

_Love has taken over, and won this war_

_Love has taken over all._

xxx

As people around her spoke, Ginny was angered. These words that she heard, caused her pain, though she did not show it. She walked off to her room, and fell on the bed crying. Harry walked past the room, hearing her sobs, and feeling her pain. He opened the door, and sat on the edge of her bed. She lifted her head, and glanced towards the one that she loved.

Tears filled his bright green eyes, as he hugged Ginny tightly. He didn't speak, though he didn't need to, his hold, being in his warm arms, that said it all for Ginny. More tears rolled down her face, as she refused to break away from the hug. Harry stayed their, her in his arms, loosing track of time. It seemed like hours that the couple heald eachother, neither wishing to break apart.

_What is love, other then another form of pain. Happiness - it can be seen for a while, before the pain takes over. Heartbreak - suicide - thats love. There is no other explanation, love - pain, it's the same thing. Love of pain, is the love of love itself. Love - is just tears, hidden by a smile. Love? I love, and I love with all my heart, making easier to break. I know, that when i'm in the arms, of one that love, as a friend or more, i know that the pain of love is worth it. When I smile, the pain goes, and I only feel love. I love you - it's three simple words, yet it can cause much pain when you wish to say it. People love, yet they don't say they do, as the avoid heart breal. Right now, I love, and i'm happy, and I do at night, but it isn't just the pain of love, it is mainly the fact I am lucky, lucky to love the ones I do, and to have them return my love. My friends, and the boy of my dreams, I love them, and i'm not left heartbroken._

Harry looked into the warm, brown eyes, of the girl he held so dearly. He no longer felt the pain of the war, both phisical and mental. He felt many emotions, yet the strongest - was love. Love, had taken his mind, and he let it. He knew he loved, and though love, now caused him tears, as he had lost a friend he had loved, and people he come so close to, that they were just like family. Yet he still loved, though it seemed everytime he did love, he was hurt. Now love seemed to have a more friendly face, the face of Ginny Weasley, the reason of love.

Ginny's heart pounded fast, as she stared into the welcoming green eyes of Harry. She took a deap breath, and closed her eyes, just for a second. She could feel his breathing, sending shivers through her skin. She knew what was coming, yet she didn't know what to do. She pulled away from the hug, and kissed him. A simple hug, that turned into something more, something that even months from now, will still put a smile on her face. Something that will always bring tears to her eyes, tears of love, yes, but tears of happiness love has caused her.

xxx

Love - another word for pain and suffering.

Love - The slowest form of suicide.

Love - Just another word for hate and heart break

Love- It can be the worst thing ever.

Love- Is justs tears hidden by a smile.

Love- A feeling most don't understand

Love - I'm lucky to love the ones I do.

Love - I love you to.


	16. A Note For My Friends

**A note for my friends.**

_I love you, and hold you deap in my heart._

_I've carved your name there, just like an art._

_I love, and it is thanks to you_

_The love you showed me was deap and true._

_When i am with you, nothing can go wrong._

_I hear the lyrics of a song._

_Saying true friends will always near._

_If you hold them close and dear._

_The song sings - true friend are here till the end.  
And if you break your heart, they give theirs to lend._

_The words I can here, are all so true._

_They what I think, when i think of you._

_True friends - stay up all hours, just to make you smile._

_And when it comes to you, i'll go the extra mile._

_When you smile, I do to._

_And I smile, thanks to you._

_A note for my friends._

_I'm hear untill the end,_

_Even then, i'll still be near._

_I will always hold you so dear._

_And no matter what happens - I'll always remember you._

_It is thank to you, I love as I do._

_If we move on, and we break apart_

_You will always be in my heart._

**(My friends - the simple reason i am breathing this very day. Before i didn't know love, i was scared to love. Now I have them in my life, and they mean everything to me. I would die if it wasn't for them, and i'd rather die, then see any of them get hurt. I step in, and take the blow, and the only pain I feel is love. I may get injured, and inch from death, yet I wouldn't care, aslong as my friend was safe. My friends - they are weirdest people in the words, they are totally random, hyper, and yet they still care. The boy I love, who loves me back, he understands me, he knows the pain I feel, he doesn't try to tell me how I feel, he is just their to comfort me whenever I get hurt. When my heart was broken, and tears stained my face, they didn't dry so easily, I spoke to him, and I smiled. The first friend I could trust with my life - she is amazing all over. She is the first friend i have trusted with everything. She is her, and that is why i love her. She was one of the fisrt people I told darkest fear, she is one of few people who have excepted me for being who I am, showing my trueself. And this girl - I have never laid eyes on her, yet I hold her close. i love her, and can trust. I can tell her anything - one reason being that she lives sooooooooo far away, and cannot tell anyone, but the main reason, is because she is there to talk to, and we trust eachother. We speak, we laugh at our own stupidity, we are ourselfs, random, and hyper, and if we were ever in the same roon together - the room wouldn't be standing anymore - we live to annoy!  
**

**Jordan, Tegan, Steph, Luke, Jake, and so many more - I love you, and though it isn't alot, it is all i can say - thank you for being there, thank for showing me the meaning of love, for making my heart whole once more, and fixing it when it gets the slightest bit damaged.)**

xxx

Ginny smiled, she was happy for the first time since the death of her brother. She smile, and though still felt the pain that the loss of her brother caused, she was was happy. She still hurt, but now she managed to smile. She was now in the of the only person she had ever truely loved, this made her smile, though at times sit still hurt to.

xxx

Once again, Ginny could not be at the side of the one she had loved. Though Hogwart's had been damaged, it was under repair, and now, she had to return. She deaply regreted leaving Harry, but she smiled, as would still be able to speak to him. She hadn't seen the one that had opened her eyes, and made be her true self. She still smiled and laugh, but she had a dark side to her, and thanks to this girl, that she could show it more then before. Kijo now can smile, finally finding friends. Kijo remain dark, darker then you might say, as she had lost one she had loved during the war. Right now, she is crying herself to sleep, waiting for the next day. She had been caused pain by the loss of one she had known, one she concidered to be a friend, and she still found hard to breath, to bother waking up in the morning. She did not smile, she was hurting, pain beyond belief. She knew the pain of those who had known him better was double to what she felt, and this caused her more pain, to think of friend with a broken heart, and a tear stained face.

**(Through the fire and flames ... Don't ask xD)**


	17. This Girl, Is She Kijo?

_My love, I am no longer by your side._

_But memories of you still haunt my mind._

_I can smile, when I think of you._

_And the love we have - love so true._

_My dear, your forever in my heart._

_We are never truely apart._

_You always in my heart, my soul, my mind._

_The love we have, is one of a kind._

_This love, it something not common, rare._

_Love that shows someone truely cares._

_Three simple words, that mean everything._

_A simple word, with a simple meaning._

_I love you, I truely do._

_i love everything about you._

_If you look in my eyes, I smile, and for that I thank you._

_It is because of you, I can love so true._

_You taught me the meaning of love, and that i wont forget._

_This love I feel - I wont regret._

_Because every moment away from hurts me._

_My love is bright light, anyoine can see._

_And though you are away._

_Your on my mind everyday._

_I bid you goodbye._

_As tears fill my eyes._

_And I say my love remains strong, and won't ever die._

_My love is true, and your the reason why._

Ginny arrived at Hogwarts, hurt that she was being torn away from the only people she had loved. She didn't refuse to go back, she given the option. She wished to return, to finish the thing that she had come here for. She walked into a room, with those who remain broken, scarred, hurt and confused. The pain in the room was to much. She turn, and walked away. The people, echoed the halls. Loud voices, some muffled by tears. People were scared, and though they were here now, to be with friends, the only excape from their pain, they cried, they feared, and still concidered themselves lucky to still be breathing, as many that they held close had died, just so they would stay safe. Many friends and family members were gone, and they had walked the path which Ginny now walk, and never will they again. People still have those who were lost in their hearts, and will. Forever.

xxx

_Have you ever loved someone and suddenly they were gone? The pain, slowly killng you. The tears, daily. If someone you truely love dies, don't let them go. Hold them in your heart, and they will remain there, forever. People die, but most don't deserve to. The innocent, killed. They shouldn't be. __They might be gone phisically, but they will always be in the hearts of friends and family, and even those who didn't know them. Everyone take a minute. Think about those you have loved and lost. Think about them, and let them know the even though they are gone, they are still with you. Noone really dies unless you let them. Keep them in your heart, and their spirit will always live. Keep them in your heart ,and they will always be with you. Love them like they are still here. Cry, like you did when they first left. Noone can get over someones death, especially someone that they have loved. Keep them with you, no matter how you do this. Make sure that you do not forget them. People say be strong, that you cant cry, that only those who are weak cry, well just cry your heart out, it is the best thing you can do. You cant do nothing else, just, cry. Don't hold back, let out your emotions. Scream, shout, laugh, cry, hit, hug, kiss, love, hate, live. Live life, laugh alot, kiss, love, learn, you never know whe life is going to end so make it worth while, and don't forget those you have lost while you do so. _

**(If you have read my humour fanfiction, above is an edited version of the author note on the last chapter. One of my friends, she lost someone she loved. I wrote this when I found out about his death - i cried as i wrote this, though i did not know the person, I felt the pain that a friend I was close to felt. Just think, someone dying, when they weren't supposed to, being murdered. You laugh when you do it, but what if it was you that this had happened to. You laughed as you did your damage, yet you don't laugh when one you care about is being put down by others. So think about it, because what you do now, will haunt you forever.)**


	18. Death

_My love, I am no longer by your side._

_But memories of you still haunt my mind._

_I can smile, when I think of you._

_And the love we have - love so true._

_My dear, your forever in my heart._

_We are never truely apart._

_You always in my heart, my soul, my mind._

_The love we have, is one of a kind._

_This love, it something not common, rare._

_Love that shows someone truely cares._

_Three simple words, that mean everything._

_A simple word, with a simple meaning._

_I love you, I truely do._

_i love everything about you._

_If you look in my eyes, I smile, and for that I thank you._

_It is because of you, I can love so true._

_You taught me the meaning of love, and that i wont forget._

_This love I feel - I wont regret._

_Because every moment away from hurts me._

_My love is bright light, anyoine can see._

_And though you are away._

_Your on my mind everyday._

_I bid you goodbye._

_As tears fill my eyes._

_And I say my love remains strong, and won't ever die._

_My love is true, and your the reason why._

Ginny arrived at Hogwarts, hurt that she was being torn away from the only people she had loved. She didn't refuse to go back, she given the option. She wished to return, to finish the thing that she had come here for. She walked into a room, with those who remain broken, scarred, hurt and confused. The pain in the room was to much. She turn, and walked away. The people, echoed the halls. Loud voices, some muffled by tears. People were scared, and though they were here now, to be with friends, the only excape from their pain, they cried, they feared, and still concidered themselves lucky to still be breathing, as many that they held close had died, just so they would stay safe. Many friends and family members were gone, and they had walked the path which Ginny now walk, and never will they again. People still have those who were lost in their hearts, and will. Forever.

xxx

_Have you ever loved someone and suddenly they were gone? The pain, slowly killng you. The tears, daily. If someone you truely love dies, don't let them go. Hold them in your heart, and they will remain there, forever. People die, but most don't deserve to. The innocent, killed. They shouldn't be. __They might be gone phisically, but they will always be in the hearts of friends and family, and even those who didn't know them. Everyone take a minute. Think about those you have loved and lost. Think about them, and let them know the even though they are gone, they are still with you. Noone really dies unless you let them. Keep them in your heart, and their spirit will always live. Keep them in your heart ,and they will always be with you. Love them like they are still here. Cry, like you did when they first left. Noone can get over someones death, especially someone that they have loved. Keep them with you, no matter how you do this. Make sure that you do not forget them. People say be strong, that you cant cry, that only those who are weak cry, well just cry your heart out, it is the best thing you can do. You cant do nothing else, just, cry. Don't hold back, let out your emotions. Scream, shout, laugh, cry, hit, hug, kiss, love, hate, live. Live life, laugh alot, kiss, love, learn, you never know whe life is going to end so make it worth while, and don't forget those you have lost while you do so. _

**(If you have read my humour fanfiction, above is an edited version of the author note on the last chapter. One of my friends, she lost someone she loved. I wrote this when I found out about his death - i cried as i wrote this, though i did not know the person, I felt the pain that a friend I was close to felt. Just think, someone dying, when they weren't supposed to, being murdered. You laugh when you do it, but what if it was you that this had happened to. You laughed as you did your damage, yet you don't laugh when one you care about is being put down by others. So think about it, because what you do now, will haunt you forever.)**


	19. Kijo And Aikou

Kijo watched the others, who could smile. They time to heal, before arrived at Hogwarts, yet they still hurt. Kijo had something wrapped around her wrist, something of her 'style'. It looked like she had bandage around her arm. She saw the red hair of one of the few friends she had, and she placed her arm behind her back. Ginny walk up to her, and saw the pain in her eyes, the fear that was eating away her heart, the pain, that made her wish to would live no more.

'Kijo...' She said, tears forming in her eyes. She took a deap breathe. She noticed what was wrapped around Kijo's wrist, and why. She didn't comment, she just took the end of the bit dangling down, and close it in her hand. 'This pain is just begining, the pain of loss, it will always be here, but it wont take over us, we can smile, don't let the pain control you...' Ginny untied the thing around Kijo's wrist. 'You taught me, without even trying, to not hide the real me...' The fresh scars on her wrist, was evidence of the pain she felt. She couldn't deny that she hurt, loosing love. She knew not to hide herself, she wouldn't keep it a secret from everyone, but only those she trusts know the true her, and their is only one she can trust, the only person who knows her. Ginny had known her secret from the start. Kijo kept it secret, though Ginny looked into her eyes, and she knew the truth, everyone else had their eyes closed.

**(I am not an 'Emo' person, I am simply a person with alot of emotions. The last time i cried, today, as wrote about the kiss Harry shared with Ginny. As I wrote, thought about my boyfriend, the one I love, and our first kiss, i cried because i'm lucky. Last night, I cried once more, though I smiled, as i started to speak to a few of my online friends. One - weird enough, A Harry Potter roleplayer - i sent him some of the things I had written, he only one question 'Why do you think of death?' I do think of death, though I know that when i die, I will be happy. I'll be with one I love, having children, getting married, laughing, living life, I will do all of that before I wish to die. I do not hurt myself, I have tried to, but failed. I cannot bring a knife to my wrist, it scares me to do so. There is only so much a person can handle, before they crack, i've cracked, though i haven't cut myself. I'd like to say - that not all emo's do hurt themself, and just is quite, or hurt, doesn't mean they are emo. Don't judge someone, untill you know them. You see the scars of one who says she is emo, and you have no problem with it, yet if I was to cut, you'd insult me, in anyway imaginable.)**

xxx

**(I write about Ginny, and her feelings that year, but Ginny isn't the only person whose feelings weren't described in the book. I sit down, and think of what I should write next. In my head comes a picture, of a lonely girl who has never needed her friends more then she has now. I remember when Ron left in the last book, and how it says that Hermione hides her tears, I think, and wonder how would she feel?)**

Ginny lay on her bed, staring at the roof. She stay alone, the only one in the dormitory. The others remain with their friends. Ginny let out a sigh of boredom, and got to her feet. As the room she had onced stayed in was still under repair she was now in the room Hermione had once stayed in. First years and second, third and fourth, people were made to share rooms. Spaces were made from those who were lost, and those whose parents thought it was no longer safe to be seperated. Few still had fear, if Voldemort came back once, what was stopping him again? And if not, they still had fears of deatheaters wishing to seak revenge.

Ginny looked around the room, looking at the pictures that had been put up, of those that had been lost during the war, the war that had lasted since the begining of the first. Ginny looked around the room, and noticed a small box in the corner. Did she dare to open it, as at one point the school was run by those wishing to kill, and rooms still had darkness, no light able to shine through. She walked over to the box, and cleared of the dust that covered it. A small rose was carved. Ginny opened the box, not sure of what she would find. Inside papers, covered in dust, a small book, with a black cover, a diary? Prehaps. Ginny picked up the book, remember Tom Riddle vividly as she did. It remain sealed with a lock. Ginny placed the book back into the box, and placed it under her bed. If it was locked, it wasn't ment to be open.

xxx

_I never knew how much I needed you as a friend._

_I though you would be here, through the very end._

_Your smile I can no longer see._

_With you I can no longer be._

_Missing your touch, your hold, missing you._

_Missing the love I once thought was true._

_Your parting words still bring tears to my eyes._

_Thinking of you, I begin to cry._

_No-one around to talk to, I don't dare say your name._

_But i still miss you, all the same._

_I want here, I want you near._

_I want you my dear._

xxx

_Although she was surrounded by people, this girl had never felt more alone. She sit, but not care, she acted as though she could not see those that surrounded her. The useless noise, it's all just another form of pain. As far as she was cared, there was no-one else in this room, she was alone, she was scared. The only thing she cared about seemed so distant, seemed so far away. She cried not, still fearing the truth that she though. The one she loved, she though he loved her back, and as they kissed, she felt happy. Yet she hurts inside, as she thinks, does he truely love her, or is this all some kind of game? Does he love her, or was she just some tool, something before he could have the girl he truely wanted? She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, knowing if it was true, the friend wouldn't take him. She still thought about it, but she hoped, she believe it was not true._

_And then, she was heartbroken. She was told the one she loved didn't love her back, he asked to be friends. SHe was heartbroken, but with a true friend by her side, she got through the pain. She later was talking, to her true friend, the one she secretly had feelings for. She kept these feelings hidden, fear of heartbreak, but not of her heart, of a friends._

_Her heart ended up broken, she was told he fears were true. The guy she had once loved, hadn't felt that way back, every fear she had thought was true. Parties, loud music, fire, people talking, much laughter and happiness, yet for this girl, it was stained by tears. She quickly got over the truth, and she accepted the fact of who she truely loved. She spoke to him, and smiled. She spoke to a girl, one who she had never said two words to before. They laughed, and talked about the people at the party, saying who was hot, and who was not. The guy this girl secretly loved came over, and sat next to the two. They spoke to him, Aiko was his name, Kijo was hers. She could not help realising how much he had changed. He once seemed immature and annoying, yet as he spoke, she realised Aiko had changed. She followed him to the fireside. She spoke about love, her fears, how she felt misunderstood, confused, heartbroken. He listened, and spoke to her. He was the only person that seemed to understand her. He didn't tell her how to feel, and she smiled at this. He was there to comfort her, not to tell her this and that. Aiko help her dry her tears, and she smiled, yet heart smashed._

_The topic changed to love. Who did she truely love? She wouldn't answer. Kijo, still sitting beside Aiko, had tears rolling down her face. She couldn't answer. She asked him not to make her. She had to hide the fact she loved him, as she couldn't risk breaking so many hearts. Ske kept this hidden, and though people talked about it, she denied, with all of her heart. Nothing, she said, was going on between them, she only thought of him as friend._

_The day after they had spoke, he admitted having feelings for another girl. Kijo spoke, and Aiko told him that she was the one that he had feelings for. These feelings confused him, he wasn't sure whether the feelings were of the love of their friendship, or of more. He told her, they came, and they went, but now they were strong. He still loved the one he was with, and thats why he couldn't speak, say earlier how he truely felt. Kijo had one she had loved, but it ended as Aiko said goodbye to his feelings, and started loving someone else. He said he still had the feelings for her, as she had started dating someone else._

_Kijo admitted she felt the same, and was also confused about friendship, and true love. She didn't know how to feel, and she had to keep her feelings secret, as she couldn't break the heart of the one that loved Aiko._


	20. Games

Ginny sat writing. She was thinking about Kijo, the person that had inspired her to write. She was the only name Ginny could think of. She wrote, using that name, yet she wasn't sure if it was Kijo she was really typing about. A single tear hit the pages that she write. She closed to book, and hid it under her bed.

xxx

_The water cold, her blood warming up the temperature. She wondered why he ruined her life. The yelling, saying this and that when he doesn't know. The desire to hurt herself was unbearable, would she snap? Only time will tell. Tears are in her very eyes as she herself begins to write._

_Dear Diary._

_Another day of, more tears, more hate._

_Another day full of heartbreak._

_As I write, I cry._

_I have a secret hope to die._

_I scream a scream fit for murder._

_And yet I will never surrender._

_Peope scream at me, acting like they control me._

_But the pain inside of me they cannot see._

_Do they know whats going through my head?_

_Or that my soul is black and dead?_

_And yet if it was anyone else they'd still say yes._

_Or even give them a second chance._

_Instead of yelling and screaming at my emotionless eyes._

_Why don't they stop making me wish to die._

_To them I speak:_

_I hate, thanks to you._

_And the # up things you do._

_Holding my emotions t the last second won't work._

_I know all of your dirt._

_And this game you want me to play._

_I've played it everyday_

_I know the rules, and who will win._

_And when I do, i'll grin._

_My hate for you will still remain strong._

_But you can't someone locked up when they did nothing wrong._

_I will laugh, cruel and cold, when I win._

_And when the game is over, i'll sing._

_You might aswell quit, give up._

_Because I have already one._

_Goodbye you #((&# phsyco path._

_I'll win this game when the last minutes up._

xxx

**(I have won the game, once more.)**


End file.
